school has started.......... i am excited about what God is going to do.  he will do great things.  he is refining me.  he is raising me up to be his child, he is leading me to leave my fear.  He is raising me up in boldness.  He proving himself faithful every moment of the day even when the ones i love fail me.  He is with me when i feel alone. He is speaking to me...presenting to me acts of worship i need to take hold of, even if it is scary.  He is asking me to sing praises to his name: at my school.  at my church. at my home.  He is beckoning me to himself, telling me that i am his bride.  I am betrothed to him forever.  He is whispering the name of a country every day. remaining faithful.  i ask where he wants me, and he whispers over and over.  He is giving me a love for a people.    i am beginning to really see people, not just look at them.  every person has a past, hurt, and a need for something more.  everyone needs jesus.  i am beginning to see every person as precious, even if i do not know them.  The lord is leading me... it isn't easy.  It is actually the hardest thing i have ever done... but i am not doing it.. that is why it is so hard.  God is constantly leading me, and satan is constantly trying to kill my spirit, but he can't ... the Lord has power over me, he will defeat satan, i wish satan would just get the point- God will destroy him.  God will reign in my heart.

please pray for me.  i need to rely on the Lord to give me the strength to resist satan's deceitful voice. 

please pray for my ministry- that i would find the hurting at my school and love them

please pray that God would continue to whisper the name of the country he wants me to love- better yet that he would yell it at me and that i would fall in love with it.

i love you

i am back from New Orleans.  it was awesome.  it was fun.  It was also the hardest thing- physically- that i have ever done.  i would wake up every morning so sore that i could hardly move.  i would beg God for strength, and thankfully he gave it to me.  He renewed my body. 

He revealed to me that material things don't matter.  they don't matter at all.  they can be swept away in an instant.  and as  a person i met in New Orleans said "all that matters is that we have eachother" People matter.  Love matters. Life matters.

He also instilled in my heart boldness, self confidence.  I would sing my heart out, when ever i wanted, not caring what other people thought- i have never been able to do that in my whole entire life.  It was my worship to God. i played the jimbaye ( i don't know if i spelt that right) with no self conscious thoughts limiting me.  these things were my symbol to God.  they symbolize confidence in him, in his creation, and faith in his plan for me.  vulnerability.  giving God all that i have -even though i am terrified.

He gave me deeper love for himself, people, and Evan.  He gave me hope for the rest of my life- for what he has for me.

my heart sinks into my chest as i watch time pass me by, acting as if it no longer wants to live, and then i see him.  and i hear a heart beating more courageously than my own.. the sound floods my ears....... i can't stand still any longer.....i have to jump.... i have to or i will die...but if i jump i could die...

.......i don't know where i will land, but i know i will be in the arms of my Maker.....

....fear and the holy spirit do not dwell together...

5 random things about me:

1.  When i was younger i was crazy.  i ran around my backyard pretending to be pocahontas ( i was obsessed with her), and i thought i was a detective ( i would write down liscense plate numbers just incase they did something illegal when i was watching),  I liked to pretend to be an orphan, or a jew hiding in an attic from the Nazis, or and Egyptian running from mummies, or a mermaid being chased by sharks. my imaginary games were wacko, but funny now.

2.  i think it is hilarious when people are cracking up laughing and they start choking and coughing, and then they have to gasp for air because they have been breathing out the whole time, and their faces turn red and their eyes water.  it is funny. (i do that a lot)

3.  i am usually a slob (b/c i am always busy), but sometimes i have weird moods where i clean my room for like an hour, and organize everything. i am weird. (if you know me - you know that i have the weirdest moods ever)

4.  I think the only person i've told this was Emily:  i like to vaccum (occasionally) because i can sing at the top of my lungs and no one can hear me.  i vaccum, let go- and sing like crazy, and dance all over the place.  i wish i could do that without the vaccum cleaner. hah.

5.  I am afraid of Evan when he makes himself shorter than me and tries to hug me.  it just isn't right for Evan to be shorter than me, it is creepy, i run away screaming almost every time he does it, i like hugging the tall Evan better. and then he mixed the short thing with talking like Galem ( i don't know how to spell his name- you know the freaky thing on lord of the rings)-"prreeecciiioouussssssss". the two together are scary.

people i tag to do this are:

Morgan M, Cammie R, Kevin W, Emily V, Sarah N